A lot of things happened to me nowadays.I was very busy, and I couldn't write to here.
Nowadays there are a lot of problem in my life.Perhaps the biggest is with my boyfriend.I going to tell you that.I feel that we aren't as happy as at start.I am very busy, and we couldn't speak a lot because in the student's hostel I couldn't use the internet often.And once when he couldn't be online for a week, I tried that I wasn't online for a week after that week (so we didn't speak to each other for 2 weeks!) and I wanted to know that how important am I for him...I have waited...for two weeks, and... nothing. THX dear!-I said inside.He could call me but he didn't do that. He had to cheek to write me a message in FB... I miss you sweetie -or something like it. I was broken...
He has written something beautiful to me a few months ago...many beautiful lyrics and words, and we were happy.I enjoyed the life better...I had someone who needed me and loved me.And it was broken during a few months.I feel that he don't like me too much.When we talk (In messenger only) we say hello, what's up and bye.Nothing special.I have said it to him that I am sad, but he didn't realized that he hurt me.
A few weeks after that, we met and I said to him it won't be good if he continue the hurt.He said he couldn't call me because his sister makes a lot of telephone-price ... bla bla bla.
but he love me, I should believe that...And he miss me and bla bla and he is going to die if I leave him... bla bla.
I couldn't believe anything to him.He didn't do anything special for me.He always waits for me to do something.And I don't believe that he can't call me once in a month just 1 minute...JUST 1 ******* MINUTE!It's too much? huh? After that when we talked on msn, as if I would be the bad.Nothing special has happened.He don't want to talk with me I think.Whyy?Where are those wonderful times?I thought just for a minute ,perhaps I leave him.I can't feel he love me or anything...He is just explaining and saying things, but never do anything...
Let me quote from a lyrics for the end of this text:
"Little bit lost and...
Little bit lonely
A little bit cold here
A little bit feared..."
(Above&Beyond pres. Oceanlab-on a good day)